The unheard Junction.

The temperatures across the globe are soaring and now at this point of time in Mumbai it is very bad. I mean all you need is to stand in the sun and u start sweating in no time But I am blessed to be living in a place that is cooler than most of Mumbai. It is full with trees and there are big playgrounds where children play for most of the times. I enjoy my evening walks here and they are like a stress buster for me. I enjoy walking on this big stretch of road almost 4 KM with date trees on either side of the road and the dim lit traffic lights almost making it very beautiful to walk on during night. This road is generally a crowded one with lots of traffic and office going people during most of the time of the day. But during the late night hours this road is very secluded with just a handful of people enjoying night walks. It usually takes me around 20 minutes to walk this entire stretch .But today I have been walking for almost 30 minutes and the road is not ending at all. I am lost and confused. I have faced the first rejection of my life. I had known this girl for almost 3 years now. I considered her as one of my close friends. I never knew when I started to like her. I was very comfortable around her and could almost talk to her about anything that I wanted to, on her part she also used to be understanding and concerned about me. One fine day after we came out of a restaurant I told her about my true feelings for her. She was shocked at that time and said that she doesn’t want to be in any relationship with anyone and she had always considered me as her very good friend. So she does not want to be in any relationship with me. I stood there like a zombie with a blank face. The auto ride back home was in total silence and when we parted ways we said that we are good friends and no matter what happens we will always be one. Although I nodded my head back then, now when I am alone I started to think about a whole lot of stuff like whether I made a mistake by saying this? Or was it too early to ask her out?

Proposals are like tasting a new fruit. Until and unless you have made an effort to eat the fruit we shall never know what it tastes like. After all the thinking and analyzing we gather all the courage in our body to come and tell the person that we like her and like a retard waiting for the answer that we have been dying to listen. But the rejection comes right out of nowhere and slaps our face. Phew!! We are startled at the answer and even more startled at the reason. But then what choice do we have, after all we are the brave ones to have expressed our self. The long journey back home starts and we are totally lost. All the time the question and answer are bouncing in the brains. We make sincere efforts to understand the hidden reasons behind the answer which in reality does not exist most of the time. After a lot of struggle we convince our self that what ever happened is past, so let’s just be friends and try to get back to normal. But the very moment we try to do that we are greeted by a new surprise, the change in the attitude of the other person. They are trying to avoid us and have a very superficial relationship. This makes our life even more miserable. Then we start to curse our self and importantly curse the friend who gave us the idea in the first place. This is a situation that many of us have faced in their life many times. When at the beginning we were expecting a new relationship we end up with nothing but sadness.

We should never feel bad about telling a person that we like them because we are not doing anything wrong. Although the answer that we had expected is not the one that we get, we must be happy that we had the courage to tell the person about our true feeling. I feel that it is better to have known the answer right away than not telling the person about your true feeling and keeping it locked in our heart for the rest of the life. Time is slow healer of all the problems in life. Even though it is very slow healer it heals all the wounds at some point of time or other. We need to have patience with them and faith in the friendship we have had for things to be better again. It may be the case that we can end up in a relationship which is much better than what we had before; after all if we truly like the person we always want them to be happy.

The road is coming to an end and so is my home. I feel much better after the long walk that I undertook. It has been three days since we met. I decide that I shall call her tomorrow and we shall meet. Although the things did not work as I wanted it to but now at least she knows that there is someone who likes her for who she is. Not today but someday she will understand me and we shall be together, till that I shall always be around her as she has been there for me…..

The unread message

I switch on the AC and try to catch some sleep after a busy day of college or rather a busy day ‘outside the college’. The mobile shows an unread message. It is a casual message asking me about the bad headache I had in the morning. But it’s not the message but the sender of the message that catches my eye. I close my eyes and rewind back to the memories associated with the person. A few months back we were in love with each other and now we are just friends with each other.

I really cannot put down her qualities that attracted me towards her. Maybe it was her simplicity or the contagious smile that brought me close to her. I believe it was my luck that we started interacting a lot and actually started to enjoy each others company. I cannot put a time frame as to when we started liking each other very much and ended up in a relationship. As expected, the initial months were like magical where everything was fun and good. We used to never get bored talking to each other and confided almost everything to each other. The coffee shops and food joints were like the classrooms for us where we spent the maximum time. But as it is said that ‘All that glitters is not gold’, we also had the rough patch where everything was actually ‘on the rocks’. The times spent were increasingly becoming less and even if we met we were very tired to have a casual conversation. This then became a daily issue and rather a frustrating one also. So we decided to end our relationship and just remain friends with each other


Is it really possible for us to be just friends with the person with whom we have had a relationship? Will there be no awkwardness between us? Relationships are like a piece of glass which when broken can be joined together but the crack will always be there. How is it possible for us to simply forget the true feelings for the person and just look at them as a friend? If that is the case then we are chameleons of the human race that can change their colors or feelings according to the situation. Every person we come across in our life has an impact in our life. No matter what happens, the actual feelings about the person remain unchanged. Faking true emotions is a quality that every individual posses at some level or the other. We can slowly convince the people around us that we are good friends with them but deep inside we are still struggling to accept this new relation. There is nothing that can be done about this situation rather to accept that things can never be the same again. That is life, as we can see and no matter what u want to change it will still remain the same.

I just smile at the message and close it and get back to sleep. I know that when I wake up there will be another message waiting for me…..

Confusion of my life

Well couldn’t help but read all the blogs that my friends are writing these days. So while going thru them I realized that even i wanted to write one for a really long long time . So here I am with my first blog.

I just came across this saying that “Does it really matter we love someone or not because what really matters is that whether you love yourself or not“. I started wondering what exactly that person is trying to say here. Right from an early age we are being told that man is a social animal and we are made to believe that we are suppose to live together with other people for smooth functioning of the society. So we also take in a lot of efforts in making friends and support the earlier fact. But the problem over here is by trying to be more ‘social’, we reach a point that we have more friends than we could have imagined. You start feeling very happy about that fact. We feel that we are most sociable person around and also that we are some important person in their life. The world is perfect around us and we are the happiest person here. Then where is the problem or the ‘dilemma’?

Well it’s about the functionality here. We are trying to balance out the various responsibilities of being a student to responsible son. Plus there is the added pressure of being with someone ‘special’. We are doing all of this with the expectation that our friends will understand us .Then when meet them after a long time we try to make up for all the lost time. But that becomes seemingly hard with time. We reach a point that we can no longer connect with them. We start worrying about where have things gone wrong. As a good friend we try to set things straight again by some means or the other. But alas the time is gone and we get the same question again in our mind that was there long long ago “Do they really like me now?” “Have they really changed from the time we met?” We try to give as many possible reasons to ourselves so that we do not feel guilty for the present situation. Many times we are also able to get ourselves out of the guilt trap of ours and put the blame on the others.

We start wondering why things have gone so bad and what has happened to the friend I had few years back. On the other hand the friend feels bad because his friend no longer has time for him and has got other activities to concentrate on. He fails to understand why those things have changed so much in so little time. So who exactly is the one responsible now for the situation? The friend who is not able to accept the changed friend of his or me who, all this while, thought that he will understand me?.

Human beings in general need constant attention from someone or the other. We have convinced ourselves that we cannot live alone without anyone’s constant caring or support or friendship. So when we do not get the attention that we are used to we cannot accept it. We try to reason it out with ourselves that the other person is responsible for the present situation. At the end of it we start doubting our decision or choice of friends that we made.

The solution to this problem is acceptance. We need to accept the situation the way it is. The more we try to reason it out the more we shall get hurt by it. As I had already said that don’t worry if people don’t love you just make sure that you love yourselves..