Confusion of my life

Well couldn’t help but read all the blogs that my friends are writing these days. So while going thru them I realized that even i wanted to write one for a really long long time . So here I am with my first blog.

I just came across this saying that “Does it really matter we love someone or not because what really matters is that whether you love yourself or not“. I started wondering what exactly that person is trying to say here. Right from an early age we are being told that man is a social animal and we are made to believe that we are suppose to live together with other people for smooth functioning of the society. So we also take in a lot of efforts in making friends and support the earlier fact. But the problem over here is by trying to be more ‘social’, we reach a point that we have more friends than we could have imagined. You start feeling very happy about that fact. We feel that we are most sociable person around and also that we are some important person in their life. The world is perfect around us and we are the happiest person here. Then where is the problem or the ‘dilemma’?

Well it’s about the functionality here. We are trying to balance out the various responsibilities of being a student to responsible son. Plus there is the added pressure of being with someone ‘special’. We are doing all of this with the expectation that our friends will understand us .Then when meet them after a long time we try to make up for all the lost time. But that becomes seemingly hard with time. We reach a point that we can no longer connect with them. We start worrying about where have things gone wrong. As a good friend we try to set things straight again by some means or the other. But alas the time is gone and we get the same question again in our mind that was there long long ago “Do they really like me now?” “Have they really changed from the time we met?” We try to give as many possible reasons to ourselves so that we do not feel guilty for the present situation. Many times we are also able to get ourselves out of the guilt trap of ours and put the blame on the others.

We start wondering why things have gone so bad and what has happened to the friend I had few years back. On the other hand the friend feels bad because his friend no longer has time for him and has got other activities to concentrate on. He fails to understand why those things have changed so much in so little time. So who exactly is the one responsible now for the situation? The friend who is not able to accept the changed friend of his or me who, all this while, thought that he will understand me?.

Human beings in general need constant attention from someone or the other. We have convinced ourselves that we cannot live alone without anyone’s constant caring or support or friendship. So when we do not get the attention that we are used to we cannot accept it. We try to reason it out with ourselves that the other person is responsible for the present situation. At the end of it we start doubting our decision or choice of friends that we made.

The solution to this problem is acceptance. We need to accept the situation the way it is. The more we try to reason it out the more we shall get hurt by it. As I had already said that don’t worry if people don’t love you just make sure that you love yourselves..